Salutations and Greetings Ladies and Gentlemen. it’s time for our weekly dose of NXT. So far on tonight's card we have Ember Moon taking on Dakota Kai, Ciampa vs ILoveTeensDream, Shotzi Blackheart vs Toni Storm and Kushida goes up against Camron “To the Moon with my 6 string” Grimes. With my Peach Margarita in hand and my spirits high that my cable doesn’t go full stupid mode and Trumpy dump doesn’t become president.
Let’s get Started Shall We?
Ember Moon vs Dakota Kai (w/Raquel)
We start tonight show off with Ember Moon dressed in what I can only assume is a left-over costume from the movie Resident Evil: Extinction or perhaps Hook. We get a quick recap of what happened at last week's Halloween Havoc. The match begins with Dakota Kai putting Ember Moon in an arm submission. While Raquel Gonzales watches ringside. We get reversals after reversals from both girls with Ember placing Dakota into a hold which is quickly reversed by her. We get a pushing contest and a senton from Ember Moon. Dakota begins to take control of the match by targeting Ember Moons shoulder using various submission techniques. We see a fantastic powerbomb on Dakota Kai by Ember Moon while in a submission. We get a flurry of kicks from both girls as we take the match to the outside of the ring. Some more kicks. What is the Oprah? YOU GET A KICK, and YOU GET A KICK and YOUUUUU GET A KICK. We see a dive to the outside which connects with Dakota Kai. Ember Moon tries a second time and basically air balls it and crashes hard. As the Match continues on, we get a spine buster from Ember, a failed pin attempt from Dakota and Raquel ringside glaring at Dakota like a disappointed mother. We start to have a good Ol’fashion Tittle punch off. a gazillion crucifix roll ups and Dakota begins to target Ember Shoulder again. We get the good ol’ shit talking your opponent that sends Ember into a rage. Unfortunately, that wasn’t enough for Ember as Dakota Grabs the win with help from Raquel Via Distraction.
Winner: Dakota Kai
Rating: Momma Raquel is Proud
Cameron Grimes vs Kushida
Cameron grimes is backstage still reeling from what he experienced against Dexter Lumis when a ref tells him his match is next against the pedophile destroyer Kushida. We see Kushida and Grimes in the ring dancing around because 6 string is too scared to do anything. We see a number of roll ups, reversals and holds from both men. We get a European upper cut by Cameron and another arm submission by Kushida. Kushida starts to target Grimes arm as well but Grimes quickly takes control with numerous maneuvers. Are we at the Gym? Is today arm day? Grimes starts to target Kushida's back and drops him throat first on the ropes. At this moment we get picture in picture commercial but I’m so focused on the Bounty commercial where the dad steps on a Lego it triggers me about my nephew who would leave leg...*stops* *breathes* OK, back to the match! We see a clothesline by Grimes to Kushida a flurry of stomps, kicks to the chest and shoulder to the mid-section. we see a trade of elbows, a sweet back elbow flip of the rope from Kushida, a Pele kick and another flip off the rope that sends Grimes to the outside of the ring. A failed pin attempt by Kushida continues the match where grimes tries to get a sneak rollup and backslide pin that results into a power bomb on Kushida. Later in the match we see the ref end up getting hit and Kushida putting grimes into an arm bar which results in Grimes tapping out but there’s no ref to count cause he’s catching Z’s on the outside. Out comes the zombie ref that scares the shit out of Grimes which results in him tapping out.
Winner: Kushida
Rating: I think the banjo needs to be re-stringed
Io Shirai Segment
Io Shirai calls out Rhea Ripley and says bish we got beef.
Drake and Kilian Dain
Yasssss, the best part of this show is the love I have for this Tag Team and the amazing music Drake has chosen. BUT were getting ANOTHER match with Ever-Rise. One of my pet peeves is WWE running back the same matches because it’s got a good response and then they run it into the ground. Anyway, the good sir Kilian Dain does what he does best and uses Drake as weapon and Drake doing what he does best. Which is getting his ass handed to him by a duo of guys where one looks like he snorts a line a coke and downs a Mountain Dew before every match. God, I love them. Oh yeah Drake still getting his ass kicked. We see Drake start to rally back and instead of tagging Kilian he continues the match and continues to get pummeled. At this time, we get another picture in picture of the NXT tag team champs and Pete dun entering the NXT building and start attacking Drake and Kilian while Pat MacAfee starts his 3rd job as an NXT camera man. (honestly y’all should hire him, he does a better job than Kevin Dunns nauseating camera shots)
Winner: Nobody
Rating: Fuck You Pat, I didn’t get to hear my damn whistle song
Pat Macfee segment:
So back from commercial Pats in the ring cutting a promo against Undisputed Era. we cut to the NXT version of this is your life but without bringing out random ass actors and actresses to play someone not really important in their life. They bring up when Roderick attacked Pete dun some years ago. We get more talking and really awesome close up of Pete's dunn muscles (Good gawd almighty). We get more promos from Lorcan and Oney about undisputed holding the tag titles hostage again. Oh, look Kratos...I mean Triple HHH is on the screen. We then see ONEY and Lorcan coincidently find a trash can by the ring and they set undisputed Eras banner on fire in the middle of the ring. So, I'm guessing were gonna get some form of War Games with undisputed Era vs Pete dunn and those other guys who aren’t important.
Rating: Pete’s dun reaction is how I felt about that whole segment.
Johnny Gargano Segment
We get Johnny talking about his love of wheels and his NXT North American title history. He gets a phone call from what I presume is the guy from Scary Movie with shitty audio distortion. Johnny goes on to say he will defend his title next week against a worthy opponent. As the segment ends, we see Johnny dancing holding his title high singing about how much he loves wheels.
Rating: WHAAAAASSSUUUPPPPPPP
Tony Storm vs Shotzi Black Heart
Now were getting to the REALLY good stuff, we have Toni Storm vs Shotzi Black Heart which I feel is going to be a banger of a match. we start off with Toni and Shotzi each giving other the business until Shotzi slips and falls onto the matt. The match quickly recovers and shotzi givesn Toni the “Welcome to the ball pit” leg drop. We then see the actual move she was supposed to do which is a top rope hurricarana. We see a suplex, a tilt the world inside cradle and Toni booting Shotzi in her chesticles. Toni storm has Shotzi in what I believe is called the Korean Crunch, No, I’m not making this up it’s called the Korean Crunch. Another suplex by Toni storm. We see Shotzi rally and land numerous kicks and knees to try to capitalize. Toni Storm tries to take Shotzi to Suplex City for the pin But Shotzi kicks out at two. We get a Storm Driver attempt but is reverse by Shotzi with Siato Suplex. We see both women trade slugs with each other. Shotzi does a modify DDT from the rope and drops Toni on the side apron (Very impressive). We then get a video Candice Lerae being gracious enough to watch Shotzi tank for her. As Shotzi is appreciating how nice Candace is. Toni Storm sneaks in with a cleaver roll up and grabs the 1,2,3 pin. At that moment Candace hops in what I assume is a big ass Jeep and proceed to run over Shotzi tank, while Shotzi is seen and heard screaming in agony in the ring like someone stole her baby while she was shopping at Walmart.
Winner: Toni Storm
Rating: Shotzi? Girl you ok?
Santos Escobar/Timothy Thatcher/Xia Li Segment
We see him arrive and being question about his match with jake atlas. Who then attacks one of the members with a bat then runs off because he obviously doesn’t want the smoke?
Timothy Thatcher is in the ring for his Thatchcan wrestling class, Today were gonna work on reversals. In reality Timothy is going to beat the living hell out of whoever this guy is. and I’m ok with that. I'm really learning a lot from this class. Tomorrow I'm going to go outside and choke out my mail man or neighbor whoever I see first. Remember ladies and gents, don’t crush the throat, just the carotid artery then bend the arm back as far as you can 😊
Xia Li is having an interview when William Regal brings her a letter from her family who is very disappointed with whatever she’s doing. So, she’s wants to challenge Raquel because she Dishonored her. Girl what you doing. You in danger.
Ciampa Vs ILoveTeensDream
It’s officially main even time! As always Ciampa will take care of Mr. Teen Dream. I can get behind this duo of Kushida and Ciampa going after all the pedo’s in the WWE and fucking them up. I’m going to keep this short and sweet cause we don’t really care about what Dream does right? All you want to know is how bad does Teenie Dreamie gets his ass kick. So, dream makes his way out to the ring dressed like a busted ass 90’s RnB singer. That’s ok though because we are pleasantly interrupted by the man himself Mr. Ciampa who is here to save the day. Whose gears is also FIRE. Gotta dress for the occasion when whopping someone ass. We start off with Ciampa working on velveteen's wrist and dropping him on the barricade and follows up with a knee to the face. We see Ciampa give Dream and his temptation hairstyle another chop and slams to his hand on the announce desk. Yes, Ciampa pat yourself on the back you're going a good job sweety. We see Ciampa get a reversal which sends Dream flying over the turn buckle. As dream is walking away Ciampa brings him back in the ring and delivers a back suplex and a sliding knee. Ciampa continues to stomp Dream on the outside of the ring as the crowd goes wild. Teen Dream takes control of match laying a serious of punches and a spine buster. Ciampa rallies again and starts to decimate Teen Dream with a serious of clothesline and a Superplex off the top rope. This is awesome chants ring throughout the CWC and yes this is. Dream jumps over the top rope and tries to capitalize on the momentum but both end up falling out of the ring and are laid out. Dream first to his feet rolls Ciampa into the ring grabs a chair and throws it in to distract the ref as he climbs the top rope but is met with a knee to the face a DDT and Willows Bell by Ciampa to secure the win.
Winner: Ciampa
Rating: A Good Ol’ Fashion Pedophile beat down is like Chicken Soup for the Soul