The beginning of the work week. The start of a 5 day abyss of getting up early and coming home late for a measly paycheck. Also is Monday Night RAW. So sit back relax and try not to pull your hair out. These are going to be a long tumultuous 3 hours but by the grace of God,Buddha and all there is holy and not holy if that's your thing. We are going to get through this together or not. depending on who goes batshit crazy before then and starts offing people. I've got my Margaritis prepped and ready to go. By the time we get to the end of this review I might be a incoherent mess but So is RAW on a weekly basis. So if they can be, Why can't I?
So with that said...
Let's get Started Shall We?
Drew/Randy/Miz Segment
Swchiinnggggg and here comes DREW! RAW starts off with Drew comparing Survivor Series to an American Thanksgiving. He goes into how his thankful for family,Friends and Fans and the thunderdome. He says he thankful for the doubters cause they make him believe in himself. He goes into how Roman Reigns only cares about himself. how he is on a pedestal and has his head shoved right up his ARSE. We see randy orton on the titon tron. who thankful for being a 14 time WWE world champion but he is also thankful for the fine by WWE didn't phase him. He says he's been fined or suspended more than any WWE superstar. Randy proclaims himself as the Greatest Wrestler Ever and he will prove it again tonight when he retains the WWE champion. Were rudely interrupted by Miz, with a promo I really don't care for *takes a huge sip of her margarita*. Miz says he cashed in favors to be able to sit front row for the Main even with Randy vs Drew. He says change is coming whether drew likes it or not.
Asuka/Mandy/Dana vs Lana/Nia/Lana
Next we see a recap of the RAW women's Survivors Series Team more so Lana being Samoan dropped through the table 8 times. we got a 6 man tag team match Mandy/Dana/Asuka vs Lana/Shayna/Nia. Lana backstage and tells shayna and nia she actually requested this 6 women tag team match and she belongs. Shaynae says the match isn't about Lana but how her and Nia run the tag team division and warns Lana under no circumstance is she allowed to tag in. Do I hear table #9 breaking as we speak.
( Also how is it Survivor Series is literally a week away and Smackdown STILL doesnt have there team locked in yet. It's not like yall got a million girls on ya squad. you have what 9 people on your roster,One's the champion and the other is going after the champion. That literally leaves you with 7 people to choose from. your telling me it's taking like 4 weeks to pick 5 out of 7 people to a team when you literally picked RAWS team in one night?)
(Ahhh I also love how we have Asuka vs Sasha but were not getting nothing to hype up the match.)
Start of the match Lana is immediately tagged out of the match by shayna who immediately goes to work on Dana. we see a half ass slap from nia but a beautiful stomp from shayna to Mandy's noticeably taped up shoulder. Back from commercial mandy has been taking to the back by medical staff. We see asuka tagged in and she's on fire taking it shayna. We see Lana tagging herself in as Shayna as the carafuda crutch on asuka. Nia and shayna are yelling at Lana to get out but takes a kicked to the head by Asuka and the asuka lock which see's Lana tap out. at this point Nia get's the table ready and Dana and asuka bounce cause they want no part of it. NIa says she's proud of Lana for showing lots of couraged and makes Lana believe all is well but is not as it seems as she is sent crashing through the table for the 9th time. We see dana backstage talking to about mandy when she is attacked by retribution member Mia Yim. later on in the show we get told Dana and Mandy are no longer on Team RAW and has been replaced by Lacey and Peyton Royce.
Winner: Asuka/Mandy/Dana
Raw Survivor Series Team Backstage Segment
we See the RAW men's Survivor Team backstage, AJ giving them a pep talk saying they have the advantage over Smackdown and there ego's are getting in the way and as a humble man AJ is he takes his fair share of responsibility. This is falling apart at the seams. Honestly AJ styles is making a lot of sense here no lie. LOL He says they need a tuned up match against a group no one likes RetruhBooShun. Which is accurate. NO ONE likes ReTruhBooShun,like NO ONE. We see Riddle try to give AJ bodyguard a nickname and AJ find out that his bodyguard has been talking to riddle and he has so many questions cause he didn't even know he spoke english.
*Footage Courtesy of WWE's Youtube
FireFly Fun House segment
Yessss,it's time for the oscar award worthy firefly funhouse with Bray and Bliss. Bray says Miz isn't a nice person and just downright rude. He wants to help Miz with his issues and bad manners in a match tonight on RAW. We see Bray and prepared for this match and the first test is agility, and spelling with the word Jackass. He spells Jackass M-I-Z LMAO. we next see rambling rabbit up against the dart board saying he trust Bray and Bray saying he never miss. well we know what's gonna happen. Rambling Rabbit get's nailed with a dart as Bray and Bliss laugh. Bray says he's ready and he hopes Miz is too and bids him adieu.
*Footage Courtesy of WWE's Youtube
New Day vs Hurt Business(Cedrick /Shelton)
Before the match begins MVP makes an announcement that they'll see the best of the best and that there is no one better than The Hurt Business. We see Shelton attempt a promo,baby just leave that to MVP. That's what his there for ok?...ok :-) moving on. We see Kofi using MVP real name LOL says that everything hurt business said was a lie,except for the best vs the best which was the truth cause it will be the New Day vs Street Profits. Kofi and Cedrik start the match and we get some catch can wrestling from cedrick. we see a good shoulder block from shelton to Xavier and a nice elbow and drop kick from woods to Shelton. Shelton delivers two body slams and a spin buster to woods but cant put him away. Cedric is tagged into the master who start attacking the ribs of xavier. Woods delivers a kick to shelton and tags in Kofi who delivers a beautiful cross body to shelton.
Hurt business takes control of the match and we see a powerbomb,elbow drop combination from shelton and cedric. It's still not enough to put New Day away as kofi kicks out at 2. Kofi delivers a beautiful DDT to shelton ( I love me a good DDT) that puts both teams on even ground as the both crawl to reach their partners. We see xavier getting the hot tag and taking out both shelton and Cedric. we get a missile drop kick to cedric. and a pin breakup by shelton. we see cedric do 3 suicide dives by Cedric who seems to be running out a steam each dive. we see a super kick and a brain buster delivered to New Day as they managed to stay in the match. Kofi delivers a trouble in paradise to Shelton and Xavier & Kofi deliver a day break to Cedric to retain the RAW tag team belts.
Winner: New Day
This match F*cking Slapped!
Drew/Sheamus segment
is there a reason for these segments? are they setting up a future story line between sheamus and drew? why does sheamus have a knights of the round table sword? what is going on? im so confused? is someone getting knighted tonight?
Team RAW vs RetruhBooShun
*sighs* I know yall dont care about this match so imma just tell you who won.
Winner: RetruhBooShun
Nikki Cross/Elias & Jeff Segment
Nikki cross is walking backstage looking for Bliss who's made it clear she will not give up up bliss and HAS to get her away from the fiend. side note,Cross was looking all types of cute tho
Jeff Confronts Elias after he finds flyers looking for information about who hit him. Elias doesn't' believe him and Jeff tells him he will do a lot more to him than hit him with a car if he dont cut the BULLSHITTTTTTT
Miz vs Bray Wyatt
We see MIZ in the ring practically pleading with Bray Wyatt to not have the match. CAUSE HE SCARED. He tries to move the focus to Randy Orton and asks Bray Wyatt to work with the him instead. Alexa Comes with what i think is a remix of her original theme song. She sends a message to Miz saying Bray said No. Nikki Cross comes out and begs and pleads for alexa to stop it. Alexa tells nikki she's right and slaps DA DOG SHIT nikki and now both them hoes going at it. Bray comes out and give daggers to Nikki Cross then Him and Alexa arm in arm make their way to the ring as MiZ and Morrison looks on mortified. Bitch this shit rah hurr! THIS SHIT RAH HURR *chefs kiss*
Bray holds out his hand saying he will forgive him but miz doesnt except and starts attacking Bray Wyatt. Morrison gives a cheap shot to Bray that has no effect on him. Wyatt completely loses and starts wrecking Miz. Miz tried to rally back but seems like nothing he does is working to put Bray Wyatt away. We see a cross body Standing urinagi and a neck snap from Bray. Again morrison tries to step in and alexa bliss just take his ass out over the barricade. Miz tries to gain traction again but is met with a sister abigail to lose the match. Bliss hopes on top of the barricade and walks along it till she meets up with bray as the walk hand and hand up the ramp. We see the Fiend pop up on the screen and Bray and Alexa look on in a trance as the lights cuts out.
Winner: Bray Wyatt
Moment of the Night:
Yall it's been a little over 2 hours,i've finished bottle number 2 of the margarita and things seem to be better on RAW. I don't know if it's the alcohol alone or the fact that Alexa taking out Morrison over the barricade made this show so much better. So far *checks* Hair is still intact and I haven't tried to murder anyone yet. So that must be a good thing.
Angel Garza Segment
Angel Garza,That's it. That's the Line.
Drew Mcintyre vs Randy Orton
So it's 7:24 and we're already doing the main even(Yes 7:24,I'm on the west coast) This is gonna be a long match I can tell. We see Drew Music in playing and he comes out with his Knights of the round table sword and his kilt that looks very sexy on him TBH. What I would give to be that lovely soft blue kilt so delicately wrapped around his wai...*ahem* I mean woooo Go DREW.
Drew is delivering a glasgow kiss and a stomp to his hand, we see another glascow kiss and a spin buster which sends randy rolling out of the ring grabbing his title and leaving. We see Adam Pierce come out after Randy tries to leave the match for the second time and say Randy WILL defend the title in a NO DQ match whether he likes it or not. Back from commercial we see Randy and Drew slugging it out in the ring. Back breaker delivered to Drew has slowed him down. we see chair shots to the back,Stomach and ribs drew as Randy looks on admiring his work.
Randy really starts to work over Drew and nails him with a steel steps. Randy continues hsi assault on Drew with a thumb to the eye and dropping him spine first on top of the announcer desk and begins to pummel Drew. We see Drew try and gain momentum and begin fighting back and drops Randy not once but twice spine first on the announcers table. Drew attempts to clay more Randy but he moves out the way and ends up landing back first on the table. we see a beautiful over head belly to belly to orton from drew who has some fight left in him. a NEck breaker and a kip up shows drew has regain his inner super saiyan. We see a SuperPlex by orton to drew to try to put him away and it still isn't enough. *insert this is awesome chants*.
Drew hits randy with a future shock DDT,and sends randy falling to the outside on top of the table that was set up by randy orton. Drew is setting up for the Claymore but it's reversed by randy with a power slam. and a draping DDT off the announce desk and off the ropes. Randy beings to set up the RKO but is stopped by a Claymore from Drew Mcintyre who regains the WWE title back and will face Roman Reigns at Survivor Series
Winner: Drew Mcintyre
I Have some question i would like answered
What was the point of Giving Randy the Title If he was gonna Drop it back to Drew
Why remove Dana If it's Mandy who is actually hurt?
Why Hasn't SD Figured out there Survivor Series Teams yet (Men and Women)
What's the deal with Drew and Sheamus?
OVERALL REVIEW OF RAW:
Not Bad,But not Good
