Welp,you know what day It is? definitely not hump day. Oh no ladies and gents. It's Monday,So you know what that means.
Monday.....Night....Raw
As,I can hear your collective sighs I will assure you it will all be ok. I promise. We will get through this together. In one piece. Hopefully with minor injuries to our IQ's
Today advertised on the card we have:
⦁ The Tag Champs New Day & Drew Mcintyre vs Randy "I Punt People for Breakfast" Orton w/Miz and Morrison in a 6 man tag match
⦁ Asuka vs Nia Jax
⦁ Lana vs Shayna
⦁ Jeff Hardy vs Riddle vs Elias(SS Qualifying Match)
⦁ Ricochet vs Big Bution (Ali)
R-Truth vs 7 other dudes
Titus O'neil vs Bobby Lashley
Braun/Sheamus vs Riddle/Keith Lee
Buckle up and try not to grab the steering wheel and send us barreling down the side of the highway OK?
So, as always...
Let's Get Started Shall We
The show kicks off with a with a vignette/recap of last week's RAW with Bliss,Drew,Miz and Randy Orton. Miz with his briefcase in tow make he's way down the ramp with Morrison for a thrilling installment of Miz Tv. I'm so NOT excited to have to sit through 5 minutes of this wreck fest but here we go. They get into BIG things that are happening tonight like him saying he could possibly cash in his briefcase on Randy Orton. we have Morrison echoing "Big Things" like an annoying child and a promo of his TV shows new season on USA. Randy music hits (Thank God) and he rightfully so starts smacking seats. He goes and savagely rips Miz and Morrison(As he Should). Miz goes into he so called plan in becoming possible tag team champs. Que the New Day. They cut a promo and as they enter the ring Randy RKO's Kofi. Drew comes running down the ramp attacking Randy only to get wacked by miz briefcase and a RKO from Randy Orton.
Jeff Hardy vs Riddle vs Elias
As we should, we start off with Elias in the ring in which I'm hoping we get another performance of "Amen" since it was interrupted by Jeff Hardy with his christmas candy cane sleeves. He starts talking about how he is a #1 on the music chart and that he needs the final slot on the SS Raw team. Him winning would go out to all the fans that put song on the charts around the world. He begins reluctantly playing on the guitar cause he knows like WE all know,he'll get interrupted and right on cue Jeff Hardy music hits. Out comes the newly re-named Matt Riddle to just Riddle. he does his signature flippity floppity kicks and the match gets underway. Elias immediately attacks jeff hardy. we get a serious of rolls up as the match continues we see AJ styles and that big ass dude who clothes don't fit watching backstage. riddle pulls jeff outside the ring and trade shots when Elias breaks up the fight with a kick to both men. He quickly has taken control of the match. We get back from commercial and Elias is control of match. he goes for a pin on Riddle but is kicked out at 2. Jeff Hardy gains momentum and tries to go for the twist of faith but it's reverse by Elias with Drift Away. Matt riddle goes for the pin but it's broken up by Jeff. Riddle tries to go for the Bro Derek but his kicked into Elias. we see a series of back and forth shots from men until Elias nails Hardy with a knee strike. Riddle is able to capitalize and hit Elias with a Bro Derek securing his win for the final slot on SS RAW Team
Winner: Riddle
AJ Styles Segment(s)
AJ was asked how he feels about Riddle being on the team and says his happy with the decision. Sheamus interrupts and is obviously isn't happy about riddle being on the time and that AJ isn't his captain. AJ styles says they need to work as the team and that they need a team meeting. We soon see Mr. Get These Hands interrupt and also say that AJ is not his team captain. is this supposed to be there version of "He's Not My President"? cause I can tell you one thing. Joe biden is mine :-) we later see AJ Styles come out to the ring for this "Meeting that surely wont go sideways" . He calls himself the Phenomenal Captain and introduces the team members. Out comes Lee,Riddle,Sheamus and Mr.Hands. AJ says Riddle is the missing piece for the whole team. Lee interrupts and says he owes AJ a receipt for hitting him in the back. Oh look they're arguing again. Riddle gives them all nicknames:
Braun - Mongoose
Sheamus - Fire Face
Riddle - Dopey
AJ Styles- Skipper
Keith Lee - Bro Lee
Yall,I think we just got the newest members of Retruhbooshun.
Big Bution Promo
We get Big Bution with his little Butions cutting a promo saying Ricochet is a courageous man. We then see Mia Y...I mean Reckoning cut a promo about Asuka and I think something about drowning and something about no mercy.*rolls eyes* who cares.
R-Truth & Drew Gulak Segment
We see the Hurt Business talking god who knows what. Cut to Drew Gulak walking in on the meeting like the only white dude was thinks he was invited to the cook out but really wasn't and pitches himself joining the Hurt Business and they said NO and attack Drew Gulak( definitely didn't see that coming nope not at all.) R-truth pops up and pins Drew Gulak to regain his 24/7 belt back. Later on that night we see a 7 way match for the 24/7 title. At this point I don't care and rather not pay attention to this *holds up the deuces sign*
Lana vs Shayna
So we get an obvious scared Lana making her way to the ring cause she has a match against shayna Baszler. Commentary goes through a recap and say's she has had it with the way she's been treated so she's gonna show them by wrestling Shayna even tho she couldn't even defeat Nia. Shayna makes her way down the ramp with Nia Jax beside her. Lana jumps on Shayna back and she quickly flips her off and gives her a knee to the chest. we see Mandy and Dana on the commentary table. a really bad missed kicked by Lana and her screaming OWWW repeatedly. shayna goes for another knee misses but connects a kick to lana head and a knee to the chest. we see shayna Iput lana in a carafuda clutch and immediately taps out. Nia tries to put lana through a table again but is saved by Mandy and Dana.
Winner: Shayna
Lana bout to be the last survivor or Survivor Series and probably wins it for RAW that's what I bet WWE setting us up for
Braun/Sheamus vs Riddle/Lee (Special guest Ref AJ Styles)
So we see a bunch of shit talking to AJ styles and Braun and Sheamus keeping riddle away from Lee. We see riddle with a gutwrench suplex to sheamus. an accidental knee and kick by Riddle to AJ styles and the match just completely breaks down. We come back from commercial with Sheamus and Riddle battling it out in the ring. Sheamus gives Riddle an Irish Curse backbreaker. Braun is tagged in and delivers a suplex yeet to riddle. as braun goes to spear riddle he moves out the way and tags in LEe. with the hot tag LEe enters the ring and throws sheamus into braun and spirits bombs riddle on top of sheamus. Sheamus delivers a brogue kick and riddle takes advantage with a deadlift german on sheamus for a failed 2 count. as sheamus is setting up for the brogue kick braun tags himself in. then Sheamus does the same then delivers a brogue kick to Braun. while distracted Riddle rolls up sheamus for the win.
Winner: Riddle/Keith Lee
Nikki Cross/Bliss Segment
we see alexis bliss dismantling flowers and nikki cross approaches her. bliss claims she hasn't seen nikki in forever as nikki responds she saw her last week. Bliss goes into how much fun she having at the firefly fun house meeting so many people. nikki goes into she's not playing and that isn't a game and that she could've been a better friend. Nikki apologizes for not being there for her and says the fiend is pure evil and that she needs to make a choice. Nikki or the fiend. Bliss without hesitation chooses The Fiend and walks away.
MVP/Bobby Lashley Segment
MVP and The United States Champion Bobby Bou...*ahem* Lashley are making there way to ring when it's announce Shelton and Cedric will have a Tag Team Title Match against the New Day next week on Raw. We see MVP cut a promo saying it's gonna be the Hurt business vs the New Day at Survivor Series and Lashley will basically beat Sami Zayne as well. Bobby says there's no way in hell Sami Zayne is walking out survivor series alive. Titus O'neil theme plays and comes out and says he's a businessman and there response to his proposal wasn't business and it blatant disrespect. MVP tells titus he has an opportunity to walk away and he refuses and challenges him to a match (Oh No Baby What are you doing!!!)
Titus O'neil vs Bobby Lashley(US Title Match)
Yep,that happened
Winner: Lashley
Asuka Vs Nia Jax
we see the match start off with kicks from Auska into a Octopus Submission then a arm bar. Nia makes her way to the outside of the ring with Asuka still holding the arm bar and slams her into the barricade. We come back from commercial and the rest of the womens SS team is at ring side as Nia Jax delivers a powerbomb to Asuka. We see a flurry of backfists a hip attack and with a failed pin. Nia jax attempts to pin Asuka but the ref is distracted by Lana who jumps on the ring apron to confront Shayna. Asuka puts Nia in the Asuka lock only to have Shayna interfer and the ref call for the bell. After the match Lana goes through another table *shrugs*
Winner: Nia Jax
Lana and a Table name a better duo.
Angel Garza Promo
Angel Garza (Heart eyes) Yep that's it,that's all I got
Ricochet vs Big Bution(Ali)
First of all Fuck Kevin Dunn and the ridiculous ass camera shakes,angles and cuts when it comes to retribution. Secondly I dont give a single ounce of fucks about this match. So with that said...It was still a good match
Winner: Big Bution(Ali)
New Day & Drew Mcintyre vs Randy Orton and Miz/Morrison
We start the match with Drew yeeting Morrison and delivering some painful chops to his chest. Xavier get's tagged in and also delivers some chops to morrison as well. we see Kofi get tagged in and miz tries to make a tag to Randy but he outright refuses. Kofi stomps Morrison and xavier delivers a superkick to miz. Mix and Morrison who are on the outside are then greeted by a flying New Day as Randy Orton is shown hanging out by the commentary desk. we see Xavier deliver a serious of moves to the Miz as he reaches out for a not interested Randy Orton. we see a outside stomp to xavier by morrison and a seriou sof ground punches. we see miz try to tag in the match and orton again refuses instead miz tags in morrison instead. Drew get's tagged and goes on a run of moves man handling both miz and morrison. Drew sets up for the future shock DDT he then begins to goad Randy to tag again but yet again he refuses. morrison tries to get the uphand but ends up getting headbutted and met with a claymore by Drew for the win.
Winner: New Day and Drew Mcintyre
Overall Rating of RAW
